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25 September 2008 @ 05:44 pm
fanfic: the assistant  
Hallo, f-list. Missed you guys lots.

Late nights have finally done me in. Sick, and so many things going downhill at the same time made me totally lose it overreact yesterday when that one more thing went horribly, horribly wrong. Hee. Thank you, acacia_yukie, for reminding me that Armageddon is still some way off. And thank you, souseki_naora, for drawing those lovely 8018. <333

decolorize, the image wouldn't leave my mind. ;_________;
So.
A short one. Very poorly edited, and my tenses are pretty much screwed.


Title: The Assistant
Rated: PG-13
Characters: Yamamoto, Hibari, mostly
Warnings: Uhhh...general lameness and crack, AU-ish, and OOC-ness
Summary: "Yamamoto Takeshi," he declared one day, stopping the baseball fanatic on his way home from another screwed job interview, "starting from tomorrow, you will be the assistant."



The animal shelter was built on the outskirts of Namimori, with a plain meadow for a backyard. It had appeared out of nowhere, it seemed to the citizens of Namimori.

The funds for construction, it is
rumoured, came from the noble Dino Cavallone’s pocket. Money for medicine, equipment, new cages, etc. is provided by the town council.

Hibari Kyouya is very intimidating for someone of his stature, after all.

 

“Yamamoto Takeshi,” he declared one day, stopping the baseball fanatic on his way home from another screwed job interview, “starting from tomorrow, you will be the assistant.”

By then, Yamamoto was pretty well-acquainted with the newly opened animal shelter, what with all the gossip going around, and he treasured his body parts (they were, after all, unique and irreplaceable), so despite the awkwardness of the sudden proposal, he promptly agreed.

So, a little perturbed, and – is it too bold to say – proud, almost (because Hibari Kyouya picked him out of everyone in Namimori to have the coveted position of assistant), he left the house bright and early for his first day of work.

 

His job encompasses many responsibilities. One of them is manning the reception counter to deal with “herbivores” who “mistake this place for the fucking vet’s” or “a dumping ground for the pets they don’t want”. He is usually able to tell them nicely that there is a vet near the market, but there are always one or two highly misfortunate ones who come strutting in with their pampered little dogs, cats, hamsters, rabbits, etc., while Hibari just happens to be there, going through some papers.

Ah. Woe.

Yamamoto thought practically everyone in Namimori knew by now that Hibari Kyouya’s animal shelter was not a place to bring their beloved critters to, but two days after one particularly bad incident, Gokudera Hayato (Yamamoto’s ex-classmate – at first sight, he is an extremely well-dressed for a delinquent, but he’s actually pretty smart, working in a very important firm – good, strong family-man-type, really) came striding in with his miscoloured cat (Puni, was it?), and a cigarette in his mouth (note: smoking is prohibited in the shelter).

Ahh, not only that his smoking was “harming the health of the animals”, but the cat actually had enough pluck to pounce on the fluffy yellow bird – no, not just any fluffy yellow bird, but Hibari Kyouya’s fluffy yellow bird – almost swallowing the critter whole.

Chaos reigned, and blood was spilt that day, but the cat was left mostly unharmed.

Because Hibari would never lift a finger against an animal, Yamamoto knows.

 

Ah, but Hibari does like animals. Really. Truly. Sincerely. Otherwise he wouldn’t have opened the shelter. Otherwise he wouldn’t have hired Yamamoto to take care of the less glamorous jobs (mucking out the cages, for instance).

When he thinks Yamamoto is not around, he will kneel down next to a cage, slipping his fingers in between the bars to reach the animal, literally showering it with gentle strokes and pets.

Yamamoto also believes Hibari really likes birds, because the little bird is always with him, on his head, on his shoulder, perched nearby or flying around his owner, chirpily singing (the Namimori anthem mostly, because Hibari does so love his middle school).

Oh, and Yamamoto has noticed Hibari is exceptionally fond of a little hedgehog he picked up (from God-knows-where). Yamamoto thinks the animal is a savage beast – is it even possible for hedgehogs to have spikes like that? – but it is exceedingly well-behaved and almost lovable when Hibari is around, despite having shoved one of its bloody spikes through Hibari’s hand during those first few days.

Yamamoto realised, after a week or so, that Hibari had become particularly susceptible to the “kyuuuuu~” of the diseased erinaceid.

 

So.

Today.

He is supposed to be picking up some parcels from the post office, and when he arrives at his workplace (he’s become quite fond of the place on the whole, actually), he is supposed to be cleaning – oh, God – the hedgehog’s cage.

Hibari Kyouya is out of the building when Yamamoto arrives, and that is surprising, because Hibari hardly ever steps out of the building.

“Yamamoto Takeshi,” he says, and the yellow bird is on his head, a familiar, amusing sight, “Cavallone’s man has your pay cheque.”

Yamamoto laughs, ignoring the frown on Hibari’s face (because woah, he gets pay cheques?), and almost steps on the hedgehog on his way to the reception counter to meet Romario.

 
 
Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: Suna no Oshiro - Kanon Wakeshima
 
 
 
라비미로labymiro: KHR18Hibirdlabymiro on September 25th, 2008 12:26 pm (UTC)
XDD May I hug you like made while giggling like mad?? LOL
+HiRO+: 隠の王、壬晴、宵風hiroya_chan on September 26th, 2008 11:22 am (UTC)
T-THAT WOULD MAKE ME VERY HAPPY.
*HUGGLES* <333
just another 「 dreamer 」: KHR: Yamamoto/Hibari - Windshearevocates on September 25th, 2008 01:51 pm (UTC)
sdgsdgfd SO CUTE. Oh Hiro-chan, this is just precious. Hibari and his love for animals and and the porcupine and the poking through hand and I love how you weaved canon into this. And Uri! And Gokudera! So very adorable.

+HiRO+: 山獄ツナ、アイス食べているhiroya_chan on September 26th, 2008 11:26 am (UTC)
I-I wouldn't call it weaving...more like stuffing canon into the thing wherever possible. DX
URI? I WAS CHANTING "UNIUNIUNI" IN MY MIND, OOOOOOOOOPS.

Thank you, thank you for reading this. <333
just another 「 dreamer 」evocates on September 26th, 2008 11:40 am (UTC)
You're welcome, you cute thing. -ruffles hair- xDDD

HIRO-CHAAAAAN COME ONLINE ON MSN?
+HiRO+: クラウド・ストライフ、ザックス・フェアhiroya_chan on September 27th, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, SORRY. ;________________;
THE COUGH MEDICINE WAS SO...SO POTENT. ;O; WILL TRY TO CATCH YOU ONLINE AGAIN SOON-ISH. <333
pikazoompikazoom on September 25th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)
I love this! It's so cute~ x3
+HiRO+: Hibari&Hibirdhiroya_chan on September 26th, 2008 11:28 am (UTC)
Wheeeee, happy you liked it! <333 Thank you for reading. :3
Janicemilodrums on September 25th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
OMG i love animals and 8018, thus,

THIS IS WIN. XD
+HiRO+: Hibari&Hibirdhiroya_chan on September 26th, 2008 11:29 am (UTC)
You are too kind,
THANK YOU. <333
acacia_yukie on September 25th, 2008 11:41 pm (UTC)
XD

You're welcome. You can call on me anytime:3
+HiRO+: 一人で、秒速5cmhiroya_chan on September 26th, 2008 11:30 am (UTC)
GLAD TO HEAR IT.
But srsly, tytytytytyty.
acacia_yukie on September 27th, 2008 03:03 am (UTC)
:D
Yw. I couldn't leave you to sob like what you did. It kinda... pained me, actually ^^;;
Contradanza: 8069?morphaileffect on September 26th, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)
yamamoto's the ONE PERSON hibari can count on to properly care for his animals, he'd better pay up if he wants to keep him! good help is so hard to find! XD

i really liked this ♥ it kind of gave me a plunny too ahahah ^o^
+HiRO+: 山獄ツナ、アイス食べているhiroya_chan on September 26th, 2008 11:36 am (UTC)
AHHHHHH, YOU. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. X(

WE CAN ONLY HOPE DINO DOES NOT FEEL TOO MUCH OF THE STRAIN IN HIS POCKET. >P

Thank you, thank you, thank you. <333
AND I'M GLAD YOU GOT A PLUNNY. WILL THE LITTLE CREATURE BE PUT TO GOOD USE ANYTIME SOON? X3 X3 X3 *ISLOOKINGFORWARD*
runninwild04: Ritsuka Heart...runninwild04 on September 26th, 2008 03:47 am (UTC)
that was very cute... and i have to admit i like thinking that hibari has at least ONE soft spot.... and animals just seems to make sense with hibird and all. X3 and i hope you feel better soon!!! i got sick too from staying up too late or not sleeping to finish projects and EEEVERYONE at school is sick too...... *sighs*
+HiRO+: Hibari&Hibirdhiroya_chan on September 26th, 2008 11:39 am (UTC)
Ahhhh, I love thinking that Hibari has that one soft spot for animals, too! <333

Thank you, thank you, I know, a lot of people in my school are falling sick, too! But I'm getting better, thank you. <333

AND THANK YOU FOR READING. X3 X3 X3
nataliaangryfaced on September 26th, 2008 04:11 am (UTC)
get well soon my laopo D::
+HiRO+: WALL•Ehiroya_chan on September 26th, 2008 11:40 am (UTC)
DEAREST, I HAVE BEEN PINING FOR YOU. 24 HOURS IS TOO LONG. ;O;

And ahahah, getting better, no worries. UNLESS OVERDOSING ON STREPSILS HAS SOME UNHEALTHY SIDE-EFFECTS.
Aisu the Spotted Rat: gw surpise sex attack!aisushi on September 26th, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC)
Thi-this is so incredibly cute and awwdorable, heh. (^o^) Hee, how so like Kyouya, founding and running an animal shelter without paying for anything himself.
+HiRO+: Hibari&Hibirdhiroya_chan on September 27th, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)
THANK YOU FOR READING. <333
Thank you, thank you, I'm uberuberuber happy you liked it. X]
Ye Sanity Be Warned~: ufufuimeandmyself on September 26th, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
SO LOVELY~! (and those porcupine cameo XDDDDD, Hibird got a rival now kufufufu.....)

wait, Yamamocchan serves as assisstant? what about Kusakabe????
+HiRO+: 山獄ツナ、アイス食べているhiroya_chan on September 27th, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
T-THANK YOU FOR READING. I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. <333

M-my primal instinct is 8018. ;O; I'm afraid I wasn't thinking of Kusakabe. Perhaps he can have the coveted position of security guard? XP
where we ends: 8018decolorize on September 26th, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA YAYZ. IT SEEMS THAT MY PLAN TO GET YOU TO WRITE MOAR WORKS BY IMPLANTING THAT ADORABLE, AWESOME SCENE IN YOUR MIND WORKS. \o/

"Ahh, not only that his smoking was “harming the health of the animals”, but the cat actually had enough pluck to pounce on the fluffy yellow bird – no, not just any fluffy yellow bird, but Hibari Kyouya’s fluffy yellow bird – almost swallowing the critter whole.

Chaos reigned, and blood was spilt that day, but the cat was left mostly unharmed.

Because Hibari would never lift a finger against an animal, Yamamoto knows.
"

Favorite part. ♥ I can't believe I've never thought of that bird-cat combination! *__* Have you seen the raws for c211 yet? Hibari's helping Gokudera yet AGAIN! XD LULZ

I'm growing fonder of the porcupine minute by minute~ <3333

EDIT: FAILED!COMMENT IS FAILED COMMENT. =____=
+HiRO+: 山獄ツナ、アイス食べているhiroya_chan on September 27th, 2008 02:41 am (UTC)
I'M AFRAID IT HAD SOME EFFECT. ;O;

Wheeeeeeeee, I'm glad you liked it! Hahahahah, I wasn't really thinking about it either, IT JUST HIT ME SUDDENLY THAT CATS KINDA LIKED BIRDS.
AHHHHHHS, I HAVEN'T SEEN THE RAWS YET. *GOESTOFINDTHEM* <333

I-I love the porcupine. X3 X3 X3

Ahahahah, no worries.
where we endsdecolorize on September 28th, 2008 07:02 pm (UTC)
Random but, I just happened to read one of the latter comments while looking for my thread to reply to, & I noticed that it's supposed to be hedgehog instead? 0.o But-but!! I've always thought it was a porcupine! What's the difference, honestly?! @_@

Anyway, seen the c211 raws yet? HIBARI Y U SO ADORABLE. Also, who's that on your icon? :D
+HiRO+: 学園キノ、ハイパーモードhiroya_chan on September 29th, 2008 07:13 am (UTC)
Ah, yesh. It's supposed to be a hedgehog, apparently - I checked Wikipedia, and. WELL. There is some difference. Umm, a porcupine is a rodent, and a hedgehog is an erinaceid. ;O; I went to read up a little (THEY KINDA LOOK THE SAME), but...well. There are a number of differences. I don't remember any, BUT THERE ARE DIFFERENCES.

YESYESYES, I'VE READ IT. <333 HIBARI LOOKED WONDERFUL HELPING KUSAKABE HOLD UP THE UNCONSCIOUS PEOPLE. XP A-AND I LOVED THE GROUP SHOT. X3 X3 X3 AHHHHHHHS, WONDERFUL.
I'M MISSING MUKURO A LOT. AND WHEN IS TYL!DINO COMING. X/

Ohhh, it's Kino, from Kino no Tabi, but the picture is taken from Gakuen Kino, its parody series. SHE'S ADORABLE, ISN'T SHE. Ahahahah, it's a light novel series, really, but they made an anime (and 2 movies) for it. Can't say I liked the anime much (T-THE ART ;O;), but I always liked the novels. <333
AND I MADE THE ICON M-MYSELF. I-I never made icons before. A-ANY CRITIQUE FOR ME? O^O
where we ends: Hibari-Hibird OTP~ <33decolorize on September 29th, 2008 05:20 pm (UTC)
@_@ UH-HUH. Suuuuuuure. I-I honestly can't tell the difference orz. Too lazy to look 'em up. Por-Porcupine sounds cuter though. Or maybe that's just me. |D

I miss TYL!Mukuro like crazy. Especially since I think his growth is the best out of all the guardians. ♥ I like how he looks. SO HAWT. *__* And lol yeah, Dino. It'd be so cool to see PD!Hibari & TYL!Dino interactions! :D Actually, it'd be cool to see how PD!Hibari reacts to everyone's TYL form. Yamamoto & Gokudera, YES PLEZE.

Ah, I see. If the series is good, I might check it out. The closest thing I came to making icons are croppin' pretteh pics. Most of my icons are like that orz. So I can't say I know, but I like the colors, if anything. It looks very bright & happy! :D
+HiRO+: 山獄ツナhiroya_chan on September 30th, 2008 07:48 am (UTC)
YESH, PORCUPINE SOUNDS CUTER. ;O;

LFAIGSFHJAJSKDLFJALKSDJLFKJAO YESYESYES. <333
I...I THINK 10069 IS GROWING ON ME. O^O

Ahhh, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. <333 Kino no Tabi is uberuberuber unique, you can read about it here. Gakuen Kino is cracky and funny and hilarious, but the actual series is not as happy-go-lucky. Albeit morbid at times, makes you really think, and some parts really, really, really touch your heart. ;O;

BUT CROPPING IS IMPORTANT, TOO. <333 Y'need to do it well, y/y? YOUR ICONS ARE PRETTY, SO THERE. X3 X3 X3
RATED M FOR MANLY ☭: uni ☆ like there's a tomorrowicedcandy on September 26th, 2008 09:54 pm (UTC)
I was reading this before I went to bed last night. Uguu, so adorable. XDD An animal shelter. It sooo fits.
+HiRO+: Hibari&Hibirdhiroya_chan on September 27th, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)
Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading. <333
(Deleted comment)
+HiRO+: 隠の王、壬晴、宵風hiroya_chan on September 27th, 2008 02:43 am (UTC)
AHHHHHHHHHHHH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR READING. X3 X3 X3
I-I want to hug him, too. <333
someone from a half remembered dream;zombieflu on September 27th, 2008 01:20 am (UTC)
this is just the most adorable/neatest thing i've read ♥
and all the canons bits made me just so happy :D
+HiRO+: 山獄ツナ、アイス食べているhiroya_chan on September 27th, 2008 02:44 am (UTC)
Thank you, I'm uber glad you liked it! <333
Cupid Teacupid_tea on September 27th, 2008 04:35 am (UTC)
Funny.

Actually, Hibari has hedgehogs. Porcupines are something different entirely.
+HiRO+: ヒバリとヒバードhiroya_chan on September 27th, 2008 04:46 am (UTC)
Ahahahah, thank you for pointing that out. Have done some reading, and made the necessary changes.
rions: REBORN - 8018rions on September 27th, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
TOO CUTE, TOO CUTE, TOO CUTE. 8DDDD I'm grinning so wide now from imagining Hibari taking cares of animals. >D

Ah, and I love it when Hibari thinks Yamamoto is not around. ♥
+HiRO+: キノの旅hiroya_chan on September 28th, 2008 07:24 am (UTC)
YAYYAYYAY, GLAD YOU LIKED IT. <333
In fact, the reason I wrote this is because the IMAGE OF HIBARI TAKING CARE OF ANIMALS WOULDN'T LEAVE ME. DX

Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading. X3 X3 X3

I-I LOVE IT, TOO. <333
Atan: 8018 lovepicarcia on September 29th, 2008 08:56 am (UTC)
now you make the image of Hibari petting and stroking the animals can't leave my mind as well...

THAT IS TOTALLY CUTE, HIROOOOO XDDDDDDD ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

ohgawdohgawdohgawdiloveyouohgawd... you don't mind if i draw from this fic instead, do you? XDDD

gaaaaaaaah, so cute, i can't stop giggling XDDD
+HiRO+: 学園キノ、ハイパーモードhiroya_chan on September 29th, 2008 11:32 am (UTC)
WHEEWHEEEEEWHEEEEEEEEE I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. <333

P-please go ahead. ;O; YOU DON'T NEED MY PERMISSION, ATAN.

Thank you, thank you for reading this! X3 X3 X3
ora_sama on October 1st, 2008 01:45 am (UTC)
I meant to comment on this the other day, but it's still adorable the second time around, so ♥. And I love you for working stuff from chapter 210 into the fic, as Hibari's obvious susceptibility to all things cute and furry and spiky deserves as much fanfic lurve as possible :3

Also, just, cool AU. Hibari running an animal shelter and telling Yamamoto to work for him. Nice :D
+HiRO+: 山獄ツナhiroya_chan on October 1st, 2008 09:55 am (UTC)
THANK YOU FOR READING! <333

AHHH, IF YOU FIND MORE ANIMAL-LOVING HIBARI FANFICS, DO DIRECT ME TO THEM. X3 X3 X3
ora_sama on October 1st, 2008 12:56 pm (UTC)
YOU'RE WELCOME :D

Sadly, I don't know of any more besides this one :/. B-BUT I SHALL KEEP MY EYE OUT...?
Tony-meister!nymous_fic on October 1st, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
I am so glad I took a break from drowning in my workload to read this. What can I even say! This is lovely, and adorable, and it made me smile so much. I just can't help thinking of poor, noble Dino (my bias, does it show D:). It's a lucky thing the man's so good with finances.

Kyuuuuu~ <3
+HiRO+: 学園キノ、ハイパーモードhiroya_chan on October 2nd, 2008 09:46 am (UTC)
;W; DYOU NEED A LIFEBOAT.

I-I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. <333 Thank you for reading! I'm still wondering if this turned out ohkaye X/ I fail at writing crack (I-I HAVE NO HUMOUR AND NO WIT ;O;), but am uberuberuber happy it was enough to make you smile.

Alas, your bias is a little obvious there. XP
I've always imagined Hibari to be the kind of guy with really good, convenient connections. :O DO YOU REMEMBER kasugai_gummie's Building A Legacy Through Three Acts + HIBARI + PREGNANT KYOUKO + DURIANS? <333

As imeandmyself pointed out, Kusakabe kinda shoulda been the assistant.
AHH, 8018. ;O;
(Anonymous) on October 2nd, 2008 11:59 am (UTC)
Hilarious, hilarious. The canon bits were fitted in nicely, and despite the AU, everyone was pretty much IC.

THE NOBLE DINO CAVALLONE, INDEED.
+HiRO+: 山獄ツナhiroya_chan on October 2nd, 2008 01:22 pm (UTC)
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU. I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. <333

THE MAN NEEDS SOME RESPECT. XP